Post by Viperess on Mar 6, 2012 4:08:30 GMT
As some of you know, I am writing a "book, that will- most likley- never make it to shelves." Nevertheless, I need human commentary. My mother would make fun of me, as would any of my human friends (LOL). So, I turn to those who have witnessed my usually shitty writing. Simply, I need your honest awnser to the following question;
If you saw the below on the back of a book, would you consider buting it?
I’m trapped. Trapped a dark, lifeless place. The ashes of a fire are sprinkled on the floor, spread over dirt. Claustrophobia seeps in, terrifying my core. I feel empty and broken, like I did when I was sitting inside of that tree stump, staring at the charred remains of my home. I feel weight on my shoulders, and the nothingness inside isn’t strong enough to hold it up. I catch my breath and crumble under the weight. I feel my knees give and then two arms pull me up.
“You’re doing fine,” a feminine voice whispers in my ear. “We’re almost there.”
Light brushes my closed eyelids. Freedom. The emptiness is replaced with solid stone, and the weight dissipates. The arms that saved me push me to my feet, and finally I can hold myself up. I whisper something that resembles a thank you, and find purchase in the wall as my hand grips the stone. My eyes open I am faced with a ten by ten paradise.
The stone here is covered with lush, green moss. A small pool in the center of the room is filed with fish and has gold pellets sprinkled at the bottom. Sunlight drips from the chimney that rises far above my head, bathing us in light. Across the room, a stone is sliding slowly.
“Now,” Xana begins, “you face the real test, the one designed for the Wolf.” The arms that saved me and her companion disappear, and I am left with only Xana and the sliding stone. I grip the wall harder as I realize what it is I am supposed to do.
If you saw the below on the back of a book, would you consider buting it?
I’m trapped. Trapped a dark, lifeless place. The ashes of a fire are sprinkled on the floor, spread over dirt. Claustrophobia seeps in, terrifying my core. I feel empty and broken, like I did when I was sitting inside of that tree stump, staring at the charred remains of my home. I feel weight on my shoulders, and the nothingness inside isn’t strong enough to hold it up. I catch my breath and crumble under the weight. I feel my knees give and then two arms pull me up.
“You’re doing fine,” a feminine voice whispers in my ear. “We’re almost there.”
Light brushes my closed eyelids. Freedom. The emptiness is replaced with solid stone, and the weight dissipates. The arms that saved me push me to my feet, and finally I can hold myself up. I whisper something that resembles a thank you, and find purchase in the wall as my hand grips the stone. My eyes open I am faced with a ten by ten paradise.
The stone here is covered with lush, green moss. A small pool in the center of the room is filed with fish and has gold pellets sprinkled at the bottom. Sunlight drips from the chimney that rises far above my head, bathing us in light. Across the room, a stone is sliding slowly.
“Now,” Xana begins, “you face the real test, the one designed for the Wolf.” The arms that saved me and her companion disappear, and I am left with only Xana and the sliding stone. I grip the wall harder as I realize what it is I am supposed to do.
